Money affects almost every decision we make in life, from the kind of coffee we drink to the cars we buy. Yet money is such a taboo subject for couples. Even couples who have been together for years can still find it hard to discuss finances with one another. But as difficult as it may be, talking about money is essential in your relationship; it can help pave the way to a better connection, clearer communication, and possibly even more love!
How “Team Huddles” can help you with money and relationships
So how do you start talking about money with your love? Well, everyone is different and every couple will require a different approach. The approach I use is what I call a “Team Huddle.” My boyfriend and I came up with the idea of Team Huddles after recognizing that our own money talks were not as effective as they could be.
You see, I am a bit different than most people. Being a financial planner, I talk about money all day, every day. Before we started doing Team Huddles, I would come home from work daily and bombard my boyfriend with money talks expecting him to want to talk about money all the time too. We finally realized that even though we could talk about money all the time, it was not productive for him nor I. So we decided to make our money discussions more effective by scheduling specific time in our week to discuss these important topics, hence Team Huddles.
During our Team Huddles, we talk about money, our short- and long-term personal and financial goals, and anything else that is going on within our relationship. This approach allows us both to commit our full attention to the discussions at hand without feeling overwhelmed by money talks all the time.
My experiences with “Team Huddles”
Since we have been doing the Team Huddles, we have found that our communication has gotten even stronger around the things that we value most. It does not mean we always agree, but at least we both feel we can dedicate 100% to communicating our thoughts on each topic. My boyfriend has indicated several times now that he loves the Team Huddles, as he feels less ambushed with money talks. For me, the main value has come from the fact that I know we are communicating about these important topics in an effective manner on a very regular basis.
I encourage you to schedule your first Team Huddle with your significant other if you aren’t doing it already. The first item on the agenda might be to identify your money personalities or money history. If you have kids, I would also suggest doing Family Team Huddles where you start to incorporate your children into the financial decision making.
What to talk about in your first “Team Huddle”
Here are some more ideas of what you can discuss in your first Team Huddle:
- Share stories about your money history. What were you taught about money growing up? How has your past shaped how you make decisions today?
- Share a financial success with your partner. It is always great to celebrate our financial strengths!
- Share your money fears. What worries you about money? Why?
- Identify goals you have in common and goals that are unique to each of you.
Cheers to your first Team Huddle!