How To Forgive Yourself for Your Financial Follies

Have you ever missed a credit card payment or ignored a bill? Has this has happened more than once?

Have you ever cashed out a retirement account or raided your emergency savings for non-emergencies?

Have you racked up debt for no real reason, or even racked up debt for very good reason, and then felt guilty about it?

Does your brow furrow or your stomach get knotted when you have to talk about money?

Chances are you’ve answered yes to at least one of these. Am I right?

If so, I understand if you want to stop reading. But, please don’t. Take a deep breath and read on.

Brittney Castro, founder of Financially Wise Women says, “Looking at our past mistakes can get very emotional.”

Women tend to carry a lot of guilt and shame when it comes to our finances, especially when it comes to our financial follies! It takes courage to acknowledge and accept mistakes. However, that act of courage is the space between staying stuck and empowerment.

In a recent teleseminar, Brittney shared some simple but powerful ways to move from financial forgiveness to financial fitness.

Forgive Yourself First!

Acknowledge the debts, the unpaid bills, the profligate spending and any other demons that are in your financial closet. Accept that these things have already happened and recognize that you were doing the best that you could at that time. You now have new knowledge and that can help you turn this around.

Brittney says, remember that “your financial mistakes are not you – your self-worth is independent of your mistakes.” (Click to tweet)

Forgiveness is a powerful tool because it prevents us from being a prisoner to our past. If we shift our focus away from shame we can make room for better practices and a healthier attitude towards money. A small shift, per Brittney, “can change your financial success dramatically.”

Understand Your Mindset

Sometimes we don’t even realize that our mindset is defining our actions. So, start tracking your thoughts about money in order to deepen your awareness of your money mindset.

We each make thousands of decisions per day and many of those will directly, or indirectly, involve money. Brittney suggests keeping a record of thoughts that arise for just one day. Each time money comes up, write down whatever comes into your head. Be honest – even if it’s not pretty!

At the end of the day, take some time to review your notes. What patterns do you see? Are your associations positive or negative? Did you find yourself thinking, “I hate money”, “budgeting sucks”, or “I’ll never have enough money to [insert big dream here]”. If so, you’re stuck in some negative thought patterns that are likely preventing you from making better decisions! Try the following on for size: “I love my money”, “managing my money is easy”, and “budgeting is a way to ensure I spend my money on what I love most”.

Create Positive Practices

Mindfulness WILL have a tangible impact on your financial situation.

Alongside budgeting (and, we all need to do this), Brittney recommends journaling, meditating, visualizing your financial goals and using daily affirmations. Perhaps you could find a “financial buddy” with whom you can share your journey to becoming financially wiser.

Allocate regular time to managing your money: a significant proportion of people spend less time managing their money than they do researching a flat screen TV, which is crazy! Conversely, millionaires spend, on average, 8.4 hours per month managing their money – which equates to about 2 hrs per week. If you’re serious about changing your financial life commit to spending at least one hour per week on money matters.

This is a #MoneyDate – yes, a “date” with your money. You can add wine, dancing, chocolate and other fun stuff to make it less painful. If you’re in a relationship it’s critical to agree on a mutually convenient time. This should reduce the occasions whereby one of you brings up money at a bad time for the other and the discussion goes nowhere (or worse).

Your #MoneyDate is the time to review your expenses and income and ensure you’re aligning your finances to your personal goals. In terms of process, Brittney is a big fan of an Excel spreadsheet or even pen-and-paper over the various technology solutions available. She says, “the idea is to stay mindful by doing the tracking yourself” whereas with automated tools “people stop paying attention over time. Updating it manually means you’re more engaged.”

So, there you go – three steps to move from folly to forgiveness to fitness. If it still seems too much, just start with one action, and do it consistently. That is enough to begin shifting your money mindset from negative to positive, getting you on the right track.

Please share your #MoneyDate fun with GoGirl and Brittney. All you have to do is Tweet or post on Facebook and remember to include @BrittneyCastro and @GoGirlFinance.

Missed the seminar but will want to listen in? Click here to hear the full call!

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Check out Financially Wise Women’s Money Class, a 6-week online class designed to help you create a new relationship with your money and teach you the financial planning strategies that will immediately make a difference in your financial life. It’s the financial education you never received growing up and it’s a class that you can start and finish at any time. Brittney will be doing a live call series for the Money Class between June 2 – July 7th. You can learn more about the Money Class here.